Depression in Relationships

Depression just seems to be a part of relationships if you are in them long enough. This happens to be a belief held by many.

Well we don’t agree with this and our intention here will be to simplify this subject.

We know that most never stop to think, “where does this depression actually come from”. We blame others or there is something mentally wrong with us. So we accept the fact that it just happens and there is nothing we can do about it. These thoughts bring on hopelessness.

Well we know and most don’t want to hear this, but depression is bought on by the person that is in a depressed state.

They have written a story that has “victim” tied to it. As a victim, it is “not your fault”. And since it is not your fault, then what can you do?

If you stare at that statement, the answer is in the question.

First step is to accept that it is your fault. Then realize it is the victim story that was written.

There lies the answer.

Rewrite the story.

Change the story about your relationship to a point where you are at peace in your life. Once you are at peace, you will notice a shift in your relationship.

At this point, you can decide if the relationship you are in is serving you or not. Then and only then, should the question on whether to stay or get out of a relationship should manifest.

You shouldn’t leave any relationship until you resolve your “peace” issue first.


Because you will take that same person (not at peace) into your next relationship and wonder why you are getting the same results.

Again, once you are at peace, you can take an honest look at the relationship and decide – “I am in or I am out”.

Anger, Frustration and Depression

Many believe they don’t have control over their emotions. It is just something that happens.

Well all emotions are based on stories. If you write a sad story, you will be sad. If you write a depressing story, you will be depressed. If you write a happy story, you will be happy.

Let’s look at it from a movie perspective. You attend a “comedy” and you expect to laugh.


That is the intent of the movie. You didn’t go to a comedy to see a “drama” or “action” (people getting killed). For most, the killing would create a negative emotion.

The “stories” you create in your mind (life) work the same way.

I know some of you don’t like to hear the phrase, “it is stories”, because it sounds like you made it up.


Let’s try a different example.

You are talking with someone and all of a sudden, they call you a “jerk”.

Some will hear those words and laugh and say or think – “they can’t be talking about me”.

Some will hear it and get their feelings hurt – “why would they say that about me?”.

Some will take it personal and want to attack back with words and then some will actually take to physical violence.

Same situation, but depending on your perspective, your actions will follow.

Depression And Its Source


Depression and its source begins with the stories we write about how life should be. Somewhere along our journey, we create a belief that things are supposed to go a certain way. When that doesn’t occur and a person feels helpless (victim mode), they will go into a depressed state of being.

Unfortunately for most that deal with it, they have been programmed to believe it is out of their control and in most cases, drugs are the solution. The drug industry is a whole other subject.

Tony Robbins states: Depression is when a person is being self-absorbed. You can’t be depressed and be thinking about others.

So if we look at that definition of depression, it comes back to what we continue to teach at Simplified University and that is: it is all about the stories we write.

If you are thinking about others, those stories don’t have “depression” attached to them and therefore you will not be depressed.

So those of you that get into depressed states, you need to stay away from the stories that get you depressed. Better yet, learn to rewrite the story so you have a different emotion attached.

This is our main message we want to drive home at Simplified University: emotions come from stories. Change the stories, you will change the emotion.